As I sit here this morning reflecting on this past week, I
find myself to be in a much better mood even though it is 4 am. This past week of chemo was yet again a
different experience. Monday was
infusion day, the doctors added more pre-medications and infusion took an extra
hour. No big deal. It gave me time to watch a movie and meet a
couple more people. My Wife and Mother
came with me. They got bored so I sent
them on a mission. Earlier that morning
they had mentioned that they would like to find a second hand store and do some
browsing. So I programmed the GPS for a
really expensive joint. Long story short
they had a good laugh and did actually find a couple of places to browse. They didn’t buy anything, but they at least
weren’t bored.
That brings up something I’ve been meaning to ask you
folks. When a person is in the Hospital
(or in my case “Infusion”) does the people that go with them have to stay with
them? What are your thoughts? Mine is this; if the person that came with me
to Infusion gets bored then go find something to do. All I am doing is sitting there getting
medications pumped into my body. Yes, I
have gotten sick while getting the infusion, but that was an experience that I
shared with the porcelain god alone…LOL.
I normally just sit there with a tablet, or watch TV. Now a friend of mine told me (I’m not going
to mention any name here so don’t ask) that if someone went to the infusion
room with me then they are obligated to stay during the process. At first I would have agreed. Having gone through it, I started feeling
different about it after the third hour.
Don’t get me wrong. I love the
support I have been receiving from my family and friends. Having someone constantly around feels kinda
weird. Kinda like they are waiting for
something bad to happen so that they can respond or something like that. I love the company, but I don’t like feeling
like they owe it to me to stick around just because I’m sick. So for those of you that do decide to come
with me in the future, please bring an activity or a GPS for me to mess with
and send you on a wild goose chase.
Let’s make a fun day out of a boring one, OK!
Enough of that! This
past week has been a rather slow one. It
wasn’t as painful as the one before.
Yesterday was a serious hangover kinda day. I’m reminded during those days why I gave up
drinking and drugs. The hangovers
suck! Now I feel like a rut is coming
that I’m about to get stuck in. Every
other week I have an Infusion. Two days
later the chemo bag comes off.
Thursday’s have been my worst days (so far), and Fridays usually start
off pretty good. So far so good
right? As long as this is the pattern,
then I’m OK with this kind of rut. So far
the time I have to spend at home has been rather dull. I don’t get into the stuff I use to
enjoy! This my friends is what I have
come to call “The Sickness!” Here’s why;
when you enjoy something so much after a long day’s work and you find the time
to do it, It’s fun. When you are stuck
at home and have all the time in the world to do the same thing you (at least I
do) start to think about the other stuff you could be doing and no longer look
enjoy it. Does that make sense to you? To me, that feeling of not enjoying something
and the constant physical pains included is truly a sickness. You could go mad! Which in my case might not be a bad idea,
since I am working on some stories. Now
don’t worry your pretty minds too much.
I’m a thinker (now a days) and not so much of a doer. So those nasty ideas of pain and discomfort
(only way I know to explain it) fall into the category of “That would be good
in a story”. “Hawthorne’s Bend”, and
“Abaddon” are still in the process of final revisions and will hopefully be
published this year. The good Lord knows
that I have the time to finish them, but “The Sickness” has set in and I have
found that concentrating on them is rather difficult to do. Now I have started work on two (yes two)
other stories. One I’m sure will be a
novel, and the other…well let’s just say it’s a part two so far. The one that I believe will be a novel, is
one that will be the odd one out. It is
not a scary story or a thriller. So far
it’s a drama, a life story if you will.
“Reflections” has been a story that I’ve been working on for years (as
most of them are) and I decided that now would be as good of a time as any to
start working on it. This story follows
a family through a crisis and tells their story through memories and
storytelling. It will mirror my own life
to some extent, but it is in all intent and purposes a fictional story. Those of you close to me may see a
familiarity in some of it, just keep in mind that I am using my own experiences
in life to tell a story that I believe will be a good enough story to bring a
tear to your eye. The other story; well
that one is for my Wife. I promised her
a thriller and now have a very good plot for her to work through. It doesn’t have a title as of yet, but it is
one I’m sure she will enjoy (I’m falling down on my knees and raising my hands
up screaming please!). It’s a good guy
vs. bad guy story.
OK, so back to this past week. The overall trip to Salt Lake City was a good
one. We went and saw the movie “The
Revenant”. It was a good one. Kind of long.
I do recommend that movie to my Father.
He would enjoy it. The bear scene
was very cool. The cinema photography is
very good. The supporting actor did a
very good job as well. Tom Hardy does a
very good job of making you believe his character. Oh my…I forgot his name, (I’ll never let go
Jack) oh yeah Leonardo DiCaprio!
LOL. Leonardo did pretty good
too. I’m not sure about the Oscars, but
he was very good in it. Go see this
movie if you haven’t. OH YEAH! Go see SW: The Force Awakens if you haven’t
done so yet (shame on you) …LOL. My Mother took us out to dinner and we had a
good time there too. The roads this time
were very good. We left Monday after my
Infusion, and I believe I slept most of the way home. Having my Mother go with us this time I think
was a good idea. She was curious about
the whole thing and I believe it put her mind at ease a little. She got to see how the Doctors handled things
and how the Infusion thing goes. She
told me that she believes that I am in good hands, and I agree. My wife as usual is the brick to the
foundation during all of this. She is a
trooper I’ll give her that. All the
driving, the worrying, and being constantly on the move has got to be
tiresome. She still plugs away
though. My family has offered to give
her a break, but she kindly declines and tells me that she would rather spend
the time with me. We have talked about
this and I will leave it to her discretion on when she needs a break or
not. So for of you that are offering to
give her a break, just keep in mind she is going to keep plugging away until
she can’t go anymore. She will accept
the help when she is ready for it. All I
ask is that no one makes her feel like a fifth wheel, if you know what I
mean. She has been there for me from the
beginning and I have no intention of ever shutting her out. She is my ROCK!!!
Maybe this post makes sense, maybe it doesn’t. I’ll leave that up to you to decide. If you have any comments, please leave them
below here. You are more than welcome to
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If you need to talk to me privately you can email me at either 307kurth@gmail.com or at kurthx74@hotmail.com or on FACEBOOK or
Twitter. Just type my name in the last
two and you should be able to find me. I
am always open to new ideas or suggestions.
Yes, I will try just about anything as long as I think it will
help. If I don’t use your advice, please
don’t take it personally.
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