November 16, 2015

Diagnoses Day

The day that I was told that I have cancer was a day that I'll never forget.  Watching the tears well up in my Wife's eyes as she sat there trying to be strong; hurt like hell.  Hearing the joy of a Friend's voice, that I hadn't talked to in a while, drain and turn into sadness; just plain sucks.  Seeing the pain in my Family's eyes as we sat there talking about it; well let's just say that I haven't found a word to describe it yet.

That day will be etched into my memory forever.  Not because the doctor told me that I have cancer, that my friends is something that I can live with.  I kind of have to.  I will never forget it because of the pain it brought to those I hold dear.  It was also the day that I realized that I am truly blessed.  Blessed to have the people in my life that I do.  I realized that I have a lot to live for and that giving up is not an option.  Is it weird to find peace and comfort on a day that your loved ones found sorrow?  For me, I found peace within because I knew that I was loved; I found comfort because I knew that I was surrounded by those that actually cared about my well being. 

That was on November 6th, 2015.

I know that the near future will be tough.  I'm not a fool, I know it will be hard.  Not just for me but for them even more.  I may be the one that cancer is trying to kill physically, but it is also trying to kill my loved ones emotionally.  I believe I can make it through the treatments, getting sick, and feeling Death's cold hand on my shoulder.  I don't know how my Family will be able to do it, but I know that they will.  I have faith in them.  They are some of the strongest people I have ever met.  They have always pulled together in times of need.  When times get tough, they put aside their petty differences and reconnect to find a passage through the dark woods ahead.  They may shed some tears along the way.  I know that there will be laughter, that's just one of the ways my Family and Friends deal with hard times.  Together, I know we can make it through this.

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